Here is an ever-growing list of things that annoy me:

• When people use their fingers for quotation marks
• When people have their windshield wipers on full speed when it is drizzling
• When cats rub against me… or just cats
• When people laugh so hard that their bodies flail all over the place
• Cold noodles (including any sort of pasta salad)
• When people spell night, “nite”
• When people chew too close to my ear
• Warm pillows
• When people touch me when I am driving
• Restaurants that do not have Mountain Dew
• Mp3s with ripping errors
• Books on proper grammar and common spelling errors
• When people refer to any professional team as possessive (”we almost won that game on Sunday”)
• When people say, “110%” (or any other percentage higher than 100) when it is clearly a mathematical impossibility — I can be 150% smarter than you; you cannot give 110% at work.
• When people say “galls” when they mean “gall”
• When people say “mute” when they mean “moot”
• When people pluralize plural words
• When people point and/or touch your obviously sunburned skin and say, “Hey! You are sunburned”
• When people use their teeth to open a bag instead of their fingers
• Things, like mp3 playlists, that claim to be random but really are not
• People who wear sunglasses in an airplane; especially in first class
• Mediocrity
• Pilots who tell you every blooming detail about their flight plan: what states we’ll fly over, what Interstate we’ll follow, the current weather at our destination (how about the weather forecast for when we get there?), the cruising altitude (I have never cared) — a little more focus on the throttle and less jabbering on the intercom, buddy
• People who talk about their mind’s eye — there is not another eyeball in there somewhere
• People who sit down next to me (couch, airplane, car, wherever) as if they just fell from 40,000 feet and nearly break whatever seating device they have chosen — let’s all practice sitting in moderation
• Public restrooms
• The song Meet Me Half Way by Kenny Loggins — just because
• When people who insist on talking with their mouths completely full of food
• Showers in standing water
• When people rustle candy wrappers for several minutes to get it open
• People who knock on something when they say, “Knock on wood” — actually just saying, “Knock on wood” bothers me
• Credit card commercials where clerk slides credit card through reader upside down