Three Simple Ways A Christian Can Navigate Through Suffering, Part III
Over the past two days, I have talked about some simple ways a Christian can navigate through suffering. First, we can focus on being still and developing our relationship with God. Second, we can focus on ministering to others through the pain. Today, I present a simple, encouraging way to navigate ourselves through suffering.
Once again, I must set it up with my frustration. When I came to terms with my cancer being back and getting worse — once I realized that it was not going to go away medically — my frustration changed focus. Now I was frustrated with the actual suffering. There is a continual cycle of pain in my body — sometimes to the point of writhing. This leads to an ensuing mess of pills, which leads to constipation and bloating and increased pressure on my abdomen, which leads to increased pain and therefore, more pain pills. As you can see, this endless cycle is literally mind-numbing and has greatly detracted from my ability to participate. Like my grandfather used to say when he was dying of cancer, “I feel fine from the neck up.” This never-ending cycle was — and is — very frustrating.
So I began to ask God why I was still here? I feel like I have put many things into order for Mandy and the kids for when I am gone. They are secure financially and have things squared away. I finally have a real understanding of Paul’s words in Philippians:
Philippians 1:21 — For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
I have a yearning to go to heaven. Not just for pain relief, but because that is truly where I want to go.
Now I must add here that there is some obvious bittersweetness in my emotions. I desperately want to live to see Lizzy get married or see the boys accomplish their dreams or travel the Mediterranean with Mandy. But there is a very real confidence in knowing that all four of them will be with me in heaven soon and that will be greater than any earthly memory. But I live in this frustrating struggle.
Why am I still here? What is next for me? Should I make another video? The first two were so powerful! What else would I say? Should I write a book? Who would publish it? So, as you can see, the questions and the musings were constant and caused me great grief with God. I felt like I had been giving all glory to Him since this began. The more debilitated I get, the less I feel I can do. And the less I feel I can do, the more I wonder why I am still here.
But then I had lunch with one of my best friends, Lee, who taught me something. Maybe I should not know what is next. Maybe we shouldn’t be praying for God to show us what is next and help our frustration. Maybe we should continue along and let Him surprise us — as He always does. We agreed that it is best to focus not on the frustration about what is next, but rather to focus on obedience. Frustration can be replaced with surprise and anticipation.
The third simple way a Christian can navigate through suffering is to focus on the exciting future God has for you instead of the painful present you find yourself wallowing in. Frustration with knowing what is next versus trusting God that what is next will be exciting is an easy choice. And so my focus moves from “what should I be doing?” to “where does God have me?” In fact, I believe not recognizing the position God has put me in can quickly turn into disobedience. God has promised us that He will complete the work.
Philippians 1:6 — And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
So: where am I? I have found that for me, personally, the obedient step is to continue forward — encouraging others, writing and sharing my feelings and praying for those around me. By doing so, my frustration has plummeted even though the pain cycle still remains.
On that note, I am happy to welcome a complete new wave of people to the blog. In the past few days, I have seen my story used so far and wide that the impact is beyond belief. Thanks to John Piper, Los Whitaker, and Kelly’s Korner, among many others for sharing my story. Please feel free to share my story as much and as often as you like. So many churches have called and are using the videos in their services. Where as just a few days ago I was so bummed out about my purpose in life and my continued existence, thousands and thousands have interacted with my story since then. (I even got a comment on my blog from Robbie Seay!)
So let us take our suffering and frame it — together with where God has us in the present and with the excitement that is coming next. This will help us from spinning out of control in the doldrums.
I also want to quickly acknowledge something else that has helped my family and me rise up out of the doldrums. We have received so many cards, checks, gift cards, wads of cash, notes — all manners of tangible encouragement. We are eternally grateful for that. We appreciate the heart behind that. If you would like to help us out or send us a note of encouragement, please send them to:
Zac Smith
c/o NewSpring Church
PO BOX 1407
Anderson, SC 29622
Another option is to participate in the second annual Flat Zac Classic. This is a fund-raising program some friends of mine set up. If you want to donate via PayPal, that is the place to do it. Thank you all so much for your kindness.
Lastly, may we all look upward and celebrate the resurrection of our Lord Jesus. If the resurrection never happened, then this is all in vain (1 Corinthians 15:14). But Jesus did rise from the dead and we celebrate that on Easter. Please go to church somewhere this weekend and bring those with you that need to hear the Gospel story. Let us help make heaven a crowded place.
To God be the glory.
‘Morning Zac! So great to start the day reading this blog. What an encouragement.
“We agreed that it is best to focus not on the frustration about what is next, but rather to focus on obedience. Frustration can be replaced with surprise and anticipation.”
That phrase and idea belongs in the archives with greats like Tozer and others.
What a revelation to me. For some time now my husband and I have been seeking, looking and frustrated about feeling like we have no idea what lies ahead…no way to plan, to be efficient, etc. Looking at it in this light that is all so rediculous!
I LOVE the body of Christ. I LOVE that you, in your suffering, are sharing like this. Please know I don’t use the phrase “in your suffering” lightly or without great respect and admiration…I cannot imagine what you and your family face and I’m sure the emotion and reality of it ebbs and flows. Mandy has so much to be proud of in you and in your family and I imagine that whenever you are able to go be with Jesus…be it soon or many years from now…you will hear the powerful words… “Well done, good and faithful servant” and know that you really did do a wonderful job on Earth.
Wow.
Love to you and your “Smith” family from our Smith family
Thea
Thanks, Thea — what a countenance change it is to go from frustration to anticipatory surprise! Thanks for the encouragement and the love. Smiths love Smiths!
Zac,
As odd as it seems to me I found out about an hour ago that my dad has colon cancer. Typing that is surreal. He had a colonoscopy this morning and will have surgery tomorrow to remove part of his colon. We don’t know any details yet – he hasn’t even met with an oncologist to discuss the findings and I think they won’t fully know until the tumor is removed and sent to a lab. My mind is reeling but I have found such encouragement in your story and all it has done in your heart.
I pray you and your family are well today and that your home is full of joy in spite of what you face.
Thanks for letting me share,
Thea
Zac, my husband, Rob, and I are praying often for you and your family. I am the “other Sharon”. My parents knew your mom’s folks and liked the name they gave her, so they named me Sharon soon after. I’ve always loved the connection your mom and I have and now am so thankful we get to near-by each other in Springfield to make up for all these lost years. Thank you for all your encouragement for the Kingdom.
Thanks for the prayers!
Hey Zac…..I wish SO much my little brother could have read this series on suffering. It’s going to help many people. Don’t know how the video work could be improved except to be in Spanish! It would also serve as a great teaching in Latin America. Praying for you in Quito every single day!
Great lessons, Son! Great teacher! Horrible price!
Hey, Wanda, it has been subtitled at least twice. I will get you the info.
Wanda: the subtitled version is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCPf2CxgMEM.
This one was a real tear jerker for me as it is helping break the walls around my heart, God is tenderizing me. Obedience, how many times do I want the same thing from my own son? I’ll be looking up the scripture you shared, thanks again.
Finding my purpose…Lisa
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Constantly praying for you Aunt Laurie!
Zac:
Just quick note to let you know that we are praying for you here in Uruguay. Your blog has been a blessing to me and a help to get me to think about every minute we have on this earth. May God bless you and use you. Jesse and Glenna
Thanks, Jesse, from Uruguay!
Dear Zac,
Just a note to say thanks and that I am praying for you and your family. I also wanted to let you know that your videos and blog comments are blessing me and helping me grow in Christ.
I work and minister as the assistant headmaster at Taejon Christian International School in South Korea. I lead a Friday morning worship gathering here at our school and I have shared your two videos with our folks. The videos and your messages have been a great blessing and challenge to all. Thanks for your obedience and availability in making those statements.
It is amazing to me how small the world is. I work with many here at the school that are connected with the CMA church and are aware of the high school that you attended in Ecuador. In fact, I work with a guy who may have attended the school at the same time as you–his name is Ted Adams.
Thanks again for your life for Christ. It is resonating and rippling outwards to the world–even to South Korea. To God be the glory.
Warmly,
Ryan
Thanks Ryan, from South Korea. I’m humbled my story can be used so far away!
Zac,
He loves her so very much and often talks about how the family seemed to fall apart once she left. {A side story here that always make me chuckle…his mother passed away in January. The next November, 11 or so months after she died, it was Thanksgiving day and my husband, his brother and his father were getting ready to bake the Turkey in the oven. They took the turkey out of the fridge, and they all looked each other said my husband stated “Anyone know how to cook a turkey???” They laughed (bittersweetly) and picked up the phone to call Butterball on Thanksgiving and ask them how to cook the turkey! My grandpa worked for Butterball back in the day and when I shared this story with him a year or so ago, he said you wouldn’t BELIEVE the spike in call volume to Butterball on Thanksgiving! But I just thought it was so cute that the 3 boys were all standing around, trying to guess how to cook the big bird-hehe} At any rate, I was hesitant about showing my husband your video, because your story of temporary healing, and then relapse and then very little time was just so very similar to my mother in laws, and I wasn’t sure how my husband would take it. I prayed about it, and swallowed the lump in my throat, and asked my husband to come and watch your story with me. I played the video and found myself divulged in the video one again not even able to think of much anything else. I cried as I had done for about the 9084023 time watching your story, and when the video finished my husband and I sat in a temporary moment of silence before he and I began talking of his mother. We talked more in those next few minutes about her, and her life than we have in the past 4 years combined. You see Zac, my husband is a man of many bricks that built a wall around his heart. He shared with me a few months into our relationship that there wasn’t anyone who was able to remove those bricks like I was. And the other night, I know there was an entire level or floor of bricks knocked and crumbled to the floor by Him. My husbands heart was so raw, so tender, so vulnerable and we had an amazing conversation. My husband and I live in Texas, but we are flying up to Michigan City Indiana at the end of May to visit my husbands Aunt and Uncle- and we will be able to visit my mother in laws grave while we are there. It will be my first time to visit where her physical body lay, and my husband has not been able to return to that place in years. I know 100% as a result of this video, the feelings and moment that my husband and I share at that grave will be forever changed. I know it may not seem that significant, but God worked in my husbands heart enough that we are in such a wonderful place now where we can talk about her more.
I wanted to touch base with you quickly and let you know that I first read about your story on Kelly’s Korner, and then I was so moved…so incredibly moved that I posted your story on my blog here: http://spencer1008.blogspot.com/2010/03/zac-smith.html . Since then, I have not been able to get your video, your story, your testimony out of my head. I think about it all the time. You see, my husband’s mother passed away almost 9 years ago of what started as Colon Cancer. It eventually consumed her entire body and took her life. My husband rarely talks about his mother (to me) as I truly feel her death is still, even 9 years later, so raw to him. I see the pain in his eyes when we talk about her- the little that we do. My husband was a mama’s boy
Zac your honesty, your truth, your bleeding heart is one that I can’t even describe. Just know that you are touching people Zac. You will touch more people in your lifetime here on Earth than others will do in 3 times that long.
Zac thank you for your words. For your devotion to Family, Church and Future.
I also wanted to let you know that I grew up attending The Heights Baptist Church in Richardson, Texas which happens to be {and please don’t judge this reference too harshly, HA!} the church that Jessica and Ashley Simpson attended, and the church where their father, Joe Simpson, was the youth minister. I say that because I was in the youth group when Jess and Ash were, and when Joe was the youth minister, and Robbie Seay lead Worship on many, MANY retreats that we had. I saw on your post that your story had reached Robbie, and I couldn’t help but smile seeing how small this world is and how it comes full circle sometimes.
Jumping around {again} to something else, I found myself reading {through tears} your posts on preparing your wife/spouse to be ready for the finances, future and what “you do” on a daily basis. I read my husband some of your words, and it’s so true that there are many things on a daily basis that each of us do, that the other wouldn’t have any idea about unless we share. Again, communication.
Zac, I know your story is just beginning. I know it is going to have great impact across states and countries.
I hope you are enjoying this Good Friday, Zac. Because Good Friday it is.
Praying for you, praying for your peace and pain level, and praying that your transition from your temporary home to your eternal home is one that is peaceful and pain free.
I can’t wait to meet you one day, Zac.
Sister in Him,
Amy Spencer
Amy:
Thanks for sharing your incredibly transparent story. It is so encouraging to me and to my family that our suffering is being used to help others. The way you describe your marriage being benefited by communication is an age-old concept that none of us ever seem to get. And it always amazes us when we see great benefit from communicating with each other. I just prayed for you two — that your communication will continue to increase — not just about death, but about all manners of life.
-z
Zac,
Thank you for praying for our marriage. My husband and I were married in October of 2008. Let me back up and say that in August of 2008, 2 months before our wedding, I was laid off. I was blessed to find a job in September of 2008, a month before our wedding. We were married, went on our honeymoon and came back for 3 weeks of this {said} Newlywed bliss. In November I was laid off again. We decided we were going to tighten things u financially and for me to go back to school to pursue my dream of a nursing degree. I began school in January, and in February of 2009 my husband was laid off. We were alright until June, and at that point we had no choice due to finances, but for me to return to work and put school on hold. My husband spent every hour of every day looking for a job. We spent our 1st anniversary at home, reflecting on the past year. Honestly, we felt robbed. We thought- this is marriage and life? That for the past year, if one of us wasn’t unemployed, it was the other? Luckily, I did find a job, and in November my husband did as well. Things were better for about 3 weeks again, and then I learned after 30 years of marriage, my mom and dad were getting divorced due to my fathers 30 years of infidelity. I was, and still am, crushed. I have so many emotions surrounding how I was raised, what I thought was truth, etc etc that I am pleading with God right now to heal. Anyway Zac- I could go on and on and wish we had the chance to talk with each other as I truly would love your advice, wisdom, experience and prayers. Its just that my husband and I have battled so much, so early on…it’s been one heck of a ride. I know this is the plan God has for us, and just as the song says “I will walk by Faith, even when I cannot see…for this broken road prepares Your wlll for me.”
Zac- I’m listening to a really great playlist I made on iTunes, full of Christian music, and a song JUST started playing as I am wrapping up this post, and I wondered iif you had heard it?
It’s called: “Find Your Wings” by Mark Harris. Have you heard it? If not Zac- please go right now and listen….I can’t help but think it’s the perfect song from you- to your children
Praying for you right now Zac-
-Amy
Mandy and I have a pretty bizarre beginning to our marriage, too. Sometimes I feel I could write a book.
Sounds like you could, too.
Thanks again, Zac. We continue to pray for you in Kenya as well.
Thanks, Cousin — from Kenya!
Zac, with every post of yours that I read, there is always something that speaks to me, that teaches me something new, or reinforces something I already knew.
This time, it was about asking God “Why am I still here??” More to the point for me, it was me asking God “Why?? Why haven’t you taken my dad/my brother/my grandmother/fill-in-the-blank home yet? They are ready, they are longing to see you, please end their suffering.”
So many times (every time) when my loved ones were suffering, I have prayed that prayer. Most recently, it was last Fall when my dad was in the last stages of Alzheimer’s disease. He didn’t know any of us, he was miserable and confused, he couldn’t do anything, he had no joy because his brain just didn’t work any more. He had a stroke, and he could no longer propel himself around in his wheelchair, or feed himself (both of which he had taken great delight in). As I watched him deteriorate and sink more and more into his fragile shell of a body, I prayed for God to take him home every day, several times a day. But I also knew God still had him here for a reason. But what?? I kept asking myself, over and over, what is it? There’s nothing my dad can DO or say, why can’t I see what it is?? Is it for my mom, that God knows she just isn’t ready yet?? Is it ME?? Is there something I am supposed to be learning from this????
I had no miraculous revelations. No real “light bulb” moments. But he DID give me a peace and stillness and even JOY those last 2 weeks that I didn’t know was possible. And He gave me incredible moments to share WHY I had that peace and stillness and joy with the aides and hospice workers who were caring for him. To sit quietly by his bedside, with whatever nurse or aide was on duty with him, and share about my dad’s life and his faith, and my faith and my mom’s faith, and WHY our faith was so strong.
I hope seeds were planted. I hope that these women, who deal with death and grieving family members all the time, saw or heard something that had a positive impact on them. In this case, I do not believe it was for me to see any harvest, although I still drop by every now and then and visit the girls who looked after my dad the last 1 1/2 years of his life.
My dear, sweet uncle and I talked about the “why” and he blessed me by telling me a story about my grandfather, who suffered recurring bouts of colon cancer for about 10 years, and eventually succumbed to it in his nineties. During his final stay in the hospital, in his worst suffering, he led his doctor and one of his nurses to the Lord. He passed away a couple of days later. I still have a “wow” moment when I think about that.
So, yes, He does have work for us to do in our suffering. And He has work for us to do as we suffer for our loved ones’ suffering. God, please open my eyes and my heart so that I may always see and know what that work is.
Zac, you are amazing. Thank you again for your courage, your openness and your willingness to share and be used by God. I hope you and your family have a blessed weekend, celebrating Christ’s resurrection, which has made all of this possible.
To God Be The Glory!
Awesome — perhaps it is just that one more soul meet Jesus.
Zac, you are SO right! Just one more soul!
You know, every day of my adult life I have thanked God for the Christian heritage He has blessed me with. I sometimes sit in awe when I think about it, and wonder how I ever was so blessed and fortunate, and I grieve over the years I walked away from that heritage and did nothing to further Kingdom causes. I know you have a tremendous faith heritage in your family, as well. And that heritage continues — Your children are receiving such a wonderful legacy and example from you, and the rest of your family. And that is how the torch is passed from generation to generation. My heart just bursts with pride for your precious parents, knowing the incredible son (and daughter!) they raised in the Lord.
Yes. Just one more soul for Jesus.
Zac,
We have never met, but I am Scott Pickle’s pastor in Puerto Rico. Recently, we had your parents for our missions conference and as you would know, they ‘blew it up’! Our people loved them (and why not) and we were mightily blessed to host them and get to know them better. My wife, Vicki, has known your father way back in southern California days in the 70’s. So, needless to say, it was a blast to have your folks with us over the course of several days last month. Zac, you have two wonderful parents (I know you know that) and it was a delight to just hang out with them. But what I want to tell you is that you and your videos (we played both at our church here in Puerto Rico – the Sunday before your folks were with us and the Sunday after they were with us) were a huge blessing, encouragement and ‘wakeup call’ for our people at North Point!! Many of our members are keeping up on your blog and are bombarding heaven with prayers for you. God, truly bless you and please do not think that what you are doing in the videos and your blog is weak or ineffective. God is using it in our lives and at our church. Keep doing what you’re doing! Keep teaching. Keep writing. Keep on, my brother! 6 words describe my life and God has written these words on my heart. I want them to ring on long after I am with the Lord for my children and those left behind, and they are these…”By His Grace – For His Glory”. That describes your life Zac – now more than ever. Praying for you, Mandy and the kids. God’s richest blessings on you and thanks from the bottom of my heart for what you’ve done for my family and my church family! We’re praying that the Great Physician wraps His loving arms around you and your family! Our prayers are with you!
By His Grace,
Bill, Vicki & Ashley Hoving
North Point Baptist Church
Dorado, Puerto Rico
Habbakuk 3: 18
Thanks for the kind words and for taking care of my parents! By His Grace – For His Glory! I like it.
Zac,
Wow, what an amazing video I just saw on Kelly’s Korner. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Wow, what a testimony you share and what a witness you give for our Savior amidst your suffering.
I appreciate you sharing how a Christian can navigate through grief. My husband and I lost our 5 child just one day after my due date. He just stopped moving and was stillborn the next day, October 30th 2008. We had just moved to a new city… and stuggle I did to navigate through the grief and suffering. I still do stuggle as life is just different after you lose a child. Yet, just like you said, God is still Good, God gives good gifts. You encouraged me greatly.
Zac, keep sharing your wisdom and story… it will touch, minister to, and encourage others. God is using you for His kingdom. Zac, I am praying for the Lord to perform a miracle, but if that isn’t His will, I pray for great peace for your heart. I know He will carry you as well as your family through this… it is so difficult at the time and we can’t always see it, but His sustaining power is so evident when we look back. Praying fervently for you right now Zac… Keep sharing…for the Kingdom!
Sara
Thanks, Sara, for sharing your story,, too. I just prayed for continued peace for your family.
Zac,
I’m so touched by your character and strength. Even though my eyes fill with tears when I read about your suffering, I cannot help but feel deep peace through your obvious peace. I just hope you know how very proud God is to have a humble, incredible son in you. I will continue to lift your family in prayer. When the day comes – whether it be soon or many years from now, you will be welcomed into heaven in glorious fashion….”Well done good and faithful servant…”
Thank you for who you are. And thank God I was blessed to know and come to deeply love your wife! You are both a blessing to me.
Jeanette in Colorado
Hi Zac, I am constantly amazed by this blog and how many people are touched by your insight and desire to share what God is doing in your life. Your insight shows us all none of us is alone. God is holding us, those of us who are His anyway. The body of Christ is so big and diverse. I love that. I love that God has chosen you to remind the rest of us about this. I do not love your sickness, your suffering or the terrible price you are paying for this. I do love that so many are praying for you and Mandy and the kids. I love that so many are praying for your mom and dad and sister. I do love you. You are in my prayers daily. I think it will be the biggest blast to finally be in heaven with all these precious people who have been so honest and have prayed for you.
Our family is huge. I am one of 10 kids, Zac’s Dad is one of my older brothers. There are 17 nieces and nephews. I have lost count of their kids. Zac is one of those nephews. Thank you very very much for praying for my nephew and his family. Thank you for sharing your stories with him. Thank you for the encouragement you give so freely.
Thank you Zac. For your obedience to Jesus. For your openess and your ability to talk about this horribleness so freely.
love you all bunches,
Patty. one of many favorite aunts!!
For Amy Spencer…
Wow, from one nurse to one who wants to be, don’t give up the dream. And please, please run right now and get a copy of John and Stasi Eldredge’s “Love and War.’ There is more wisdom about marriage there than you can find anywhere, except the Bible. And feel free to write…42 years of ups and downs within a Christian marriage, lots of financial hardships (including at the beginning and lots in between, including now!), and current church related volunteer faith based helps for couples is how we are trying to show folks “it’s hard…but it’s worth it!” scrn2go@yahoo.com. I will be praying for you in the meantime. God hasn’t finished with you guys either. Keep seeking couples of faith, and keep being obedient to what you already know.
Oh, and the prayers of this righteous man availeth much, to be sure…
Thank you Zac for showing us all how to step outside ourselves and serve as Christ did…to see with his eyes, and feel with his heart…that is, after all, why we are all here.
Dearest Zac
You will never know how far your testimony is reaching around the world. We are human and often wonder “why?” I did when I found out I had cancer and as I was grieving for myself God said to me: “Why not you?” and my answer was, Yes, dear God, why not me – help me to be an encouragement to others. So I praise GOD for the opportunities and I PRAISE GOD for your testimony and the many people you have already touched and it continues. Only in eternity will you know the extent of your love and devotion to our Almighty God and the souls changed because of your devoted life to God. Thank you so much and to God be the glory. We pray for you and family daily.
Love, Aunt Jeanette
Hi Zac-thank you so much for your blog. It is a guiding light and encouragement to me as I live my life for God. I have just been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in my bones and liver. I am learning how to get the focus off me and on to ministry, especially to my husband. I am learning about choosing to want to live for the sake of my family’s joy and growth in the Lord. I am passionate about knowing Him more and growing in Him-looking more like Him everyday so the world can see that there IS this amazing loving God and Jesus is our link to Him, and Jesus is this God. Right now I am praying to know and understand my freedom in Jesus Christ. My husband’s prison ministry inmates say: “I have never felt this free!” I want to say that too!
Jesus Christ shines most brightly in us in the midst of sickness and tragedy. He has overcome the world. ALL THINGS work together for good.
I am praying for you. Your blogs help me to know how to pray for you.
Much love, brother.
Mary Olson
Grace Community Church-Flagstaff
Zac,
I have some funny memories of being teased by you when I was alittle girl… I have been following your story and have been praying for you since I heard about your diagnosis last year. I just wanted to say that you have truly been a blessing to me, and so many others… God has truly used your testimony… thank you so much for being willing to be transparent through this… My faith has truly been challenged through the words you have written on your blog. I love your whole family and am praying for all of you.
Lexi (Anzalone)