On Last Wills & Testaments
It has been over ten months since I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer. Not long after that diagnosis, I wrote about getting your affairs in order. I can personally attest that this is a difficult process to undertake. It is hard to sit down and process the finality of some of this.
I understand there will always be something somewhere that needs taking care of, but after these many months, I feel that we have finally come to the point where things are in order. Today Mandy and I wrote our Last Will & Testaments. We also made a number of changes at the bank. And it is through all of this that I am so grateful to God for giving me these months of life. For many people, death is an instant and sudden shock. Death simply happens and chaos is left behind. But because of God’s grace, we have been given time to teach each other what needs to happen.
I would love to be around for a long time and care for my family, but I am more and more confident every day that Mandy is excellently positioned to take over. She is an amazing homemaker and mother. Now she has added a job to the mix and she is thriving. I also see her quickly learning and taking over our finances. She is an amazing woman and I do not know anyone else in the world who could do what she does. I am thankful to God for giving me so many years of life with her and even more thankful that I get to leave my kids with her when I die.
Let this be an encouragement to you — whether you be sick or well: get your affairs in order. Do not leave your family in chaos if you die. Teach your spouse what you do.
Zac, I can’t agree more. Why do people think they don’t have to deal with their death? Make it easier for your family. GET A WILL!
Prayers for you, your wife, and your children.
Very good admonition.
Zac, this is wise and sound advice for every adult of every age and physical condition. It is one of the most important gifts we can give our loved ones. I have been so thankful that long before my Dad’s Alzheimer’s progressed to the point where he could no longer make decisions and look after things, that he had everthing in place, including Power of Attorney for my Mom and I to act on his behalf, as well as an Advanced Medical Directive telling us in clear terms exactly what he wanted in various circumstances, and GIVING US THE LEGAL AUTHORITY TO CARRY OUT THOSE DESIRES. It took an enormous burden from my shoulders, and also from my Mom’s. It IS a gift of love, truly.
Mandy is indeed amazing and so are you!
Zac, you don’t know me, but my wife and I saw your story and are praying for you. Your story, courage, and faith has reached even Phoenix, AZ. I hope you can be encouraged by how God is using you to inspire and strengthen others… Love you man!
Zac, I don’t know you, but I got to your story via another blog I read. My mom was also diagnosed with colon cancer, and I know what it’s like to watch that disease take someone you love. If I can be a blessing or encouragemant to Mandy in any way, please pass along my email address: dawn.morrow@gmail.com. I am praying for you and your family.
Once again, I do not know you and got your video on Kelly’s Korner Blog. What an inspiring and amazing man you are. I pray that your family would feel God’s loving arms wrapped around them. I pray that everyone in this world would come to know the true peace you have found in your diagnosis. I’m truly speechless after that video and praying so hard for you and your family’s comfort right now.
Hi Zac- Just now catching up with your journey. My heart aches but know that God will honor you and your family as you are getting things “in order”. I know that my own faith has been strengthened through my mom’s journey with lymphoma. It definitely is a roller coaster of emotion. Last year (2009) my word for the year was HOPE. This year (2010) the word God gave me is BLESSING. You are a blessing to so many people Zac. The Father is blessed by your faith, your love, and reliance on Him. Love to you and your family. Your former locker buddy, sharer of the great Smith name, and graduation partner:), Allison
p.s. my family lives in North Carolina…don’t think it is too far from you. We currently live in Kannapolis/Concord-right outside Charlotte. How far would you say that is from you??
I found your blog through another….
praying for you and your family right now. you are an inspiration and have been a blessing to me today. thank you.
-praying that you feel Jesus wrapping His arms around you.
jen e. in indiana
Zac, I found you through Kellyskorner. I am so touched by you and your story. I am praying for courage, grace, and strength for you, your wife, and three children. May God surround each of you with a peace that passes all understanding. Thank you for your testimony.
I too saw your story at Kelly’s Korner. I have a blog myself and would love to post your story for others to see and pray you through. Your courage, your admiration for your wife, your desire to see our King of Kings is truly an inspiration. I am praying for you and your family and would love for my followers to pray as well. Love in Christ! Dawn
Don’t ever doubt for one single second that God didn’t have a plan for your life. I (obviously) do not know you, but watching your video and reading your story has reached in and tugged at my heart’s strings. I am overcome with emotion for you and your family. What a brave, strong man you are, and what an amazing wife you have. But I’m overcome with emotion, also, for my own life. I am so fortunate every single day to have that day, and I don’t always use it as I should. God has a greater plan for me, too. And I will diligently seek it.
Thank you for sharing your life. I will pray for your healing. And I will pray for your family. And I will thank God for your life.
Lindsey H. (Arkansas)
I just found your blog through Kelly’s Korner. I don’t know what to say, except that I am praying for you and your family.
Zac,
I found your blog tonight through a blog I follow, my heart yearns and aches for you tonight, but I know that God is going to use your story too touch someone else and your wife, wow what an amazing woman of God she is. Tonight I pray for peace upon you and your family.
Dear Zac
My family goes to Grace Comm. Church where your uncle Mark teaches. Our kids are involved in the youth Ministry and they have seen your video and were very touched by it. You are an amazing young man, you have ministered to so many people, God has used your video`s mightly. I put it on my facebook and so many comments and questions about Jesus came about… I know you are getting weaker by the hour, please know that there are so many of us God reminds us through out the day to pray for you and your family. My husband and I have been married 31 years and have 4 amazing children. You my dear young man have reminded me to stop and hug them and tell them I love them, and to enjoy every minute with them.
We pray for what is coming next for you, always Gods will, and possibly a miracle. praying in Flagstaff, The Serrano Family
Thank you so much for the outpouring of love and prayers — the recent wave of visitors from Kelly’s Korner is amazing. Please feel free to share my story/video on your blog, too. Thanks!
Zac,
I’m another who found your blog through Kelly’s Korner and have spent the past several moments reading your story – from the time of diagnosis to present. Your story has greatly blessed me – the strength you have in our Lord and the resolve you have – the fact that through it all you have kept the faith. Truly inspiring!
I will pray for you and your family, trusting God to do a good work (as He clearly does always). I’m confident that your life and story will leave a lasting legacy far beyond any of our days that are in His hands.
God bless you & keep you…
Wendy
Zac,
I found your story from KellysKorner. I am humbled by your courage and faith. I am praying for healing for your body, be it here on earth or in heaven with our Father. I am praying for your wife and kids…. I could not imagine what I would be feeling or do if something happened to my husband. Don’t miss a moment, love on them so much. Never forget that God is Good!
In Christ’s Name,
Bran
I know your wife and kids must be so proud of you. I have been sitting here reading all of your posts and I am in awe of your steadfast faith. This has encouraged me to know God on a deeper level. Thanks for your honesty and bravery.
Hi Zac,
I just came across your blog via kellyskornerblog.com and reposted your video on my blog and tweeted / facebooked it. Your story is heartbreaking to me as we have 3 young children and I can’t imagine what it would be like to move on without them.
We are praying for you and Mandy and for your children. Your hope and outlook in facing this mountain is a blessing and an encouragement. Thank you for making that video…and thanks for sharing it.
May the Lord fill your home with joy, laughter and many lovely memories to be celebrated for years to come. We are praying for your healing.
Thea
Thank you for sharing your story and the wonderful video. Your family is in my prayers.
I just watched your video for the first time and read some of your blog. So encouraging. So hope-filled. I know you have been hearing all kinds of cancer stories and sometimes they are helpful and sometimes they are not. How do I know this? Because I’m about to share mine…sorry. But your story is very similar to my husband’s. He was diagnosed with cancer about a year ago and died almost 2 months ago. He was 27, I am 25 and we have 2 young children together. We were married for 5 amazing years. I’m not writing this to discourage you at all, but simply to say that God’s grace is indeed enough. I can say that truly because I am living it. I don’t doubt for a second that my husband is finally Home and that I will see him someday…oh how I long for that day. My husband made plans for his funeral and for me and the kids as well…and it was one of the best, most loving gifts he ever gave me.
Anyway, I didn’t mean to ramble. I will pray for you as the Spirit brings you to my mind.
Jessica
whoah. hi zac, my story is so similar to the woman, jessica’s above. i found your video posted on facebook. i was so encouraged as your words reminded me so much of my own husband’s view of cancer and of the Lord during his battle. It is amazing how we believers share the same Holy Spirit and how He comforts us with the same truths and is so faithful to strengthen us. Like Jessica above, Andrew and I were married for 5 years, had 2 children, and after a 2 year battle, Andrew went to be with the Lord Feb. 7, 2009 at the age of 27.
Thank you so much for your video and your desire to put the Lord on display through yours and your family’s suffering.
Praise the Lord for how you are preparing your family in case you do go, and how your wife is thriving through it. Just as you are doing, our pastor/my brother-in-law had encouraged us to hope for the best (God’s miraculous healing), but to prepare for the worst. I am so grateful for his advice and for how Andrew had prepared us for life without him. While it was so wonderful all the practical ways he had provided for us, I feel as if the thing that helped me most through my grief were the letters he wrote to me and my children. You may have also written letters to your family, but if you haven’t yet, it really is a wonderful thing. I read them every night to my children and it got me through the first several months and through the first year without Andrew. Andrew was able to shepherd us even through our grief and balance me as he always had, though he was gone. It truly was as if the Holy Spirit told him exactly what I would need to hear through his letters. He was very ill when he wrote them, but any energy he did have left, he used to feverishly type those letters.
And I hope you don’t mind me mentioning on an even more practical note, I felt compelled to mention, in case you don’t already know, is that if you do go to be with the Lord, your wife is eligible to get social security for each of your children as well as herself, as their caregiver until they are 16. They start to deduct some money, though, if her earned income exceeds a certain amount. even though Andrew had also provided for us in other ways, i have found the social security alone to be sufficient for us to live off of, so that i have not needed to work and can still be at home with my children.
Praying for your miraculous recovery and the grace to continue to endure and continue to make His name famous through your sufferings.
By the way, if you’d like to see any of Andrew’s letters, I posted them in 2009 after his death on our blog, which you can find at http://www.graceandrew.com.
In Christ,
Grace Mark