On Sufficiency
I have been feeling pretty weak lately. Chemo continues to take a toll on my body. Fatigue abounds. And through it all, the pain of the tumors in my abdomen is constant. I do not know how to quantify or qualify the pain except to say that the persistence of it has left me with a sort of numbness to it. This is good in that the pain is not at the forefront of my thoughts, although it can be with very little summoning.
Another emotion I feel a lot of is excitement. There is so much to do this month; there is so much coming in 2010. I am super excited about some fun things happening with my family and my job at NewSpring in the coming months.
And then the two emotions of excitement and weakness collide. This weakness has led me to feel some angst about my health. Why can’t I be healthy? I need more (better?) health. I also feel bitter about my time. I need more time. And of course I need more money to help facilitate all these things. I need more. I cannot do my job if I am only working 75% of the time. I cannot accomplish all the things that need to be done if I don’t live for a long time. I cannot subsidize this stuff without more. I definitely need more. I can’t do this.
And then God spoke to me. He said, “It is sufficient.” I wrestled with Him on that for a while. But He kept saying it: “It is sufficient.” It is enough. He is enough. I have enough health to do what God wants me to do. I have enough time to do His will. I have enough money to obey Him. I was reminded of this verse; Paul pleaded with God to take away his pain, and this was the response:
2 Corinthians 12:9 — But [Jesus] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
God is good. And He is enough. And what He has given me is enough.
I have enough. And I can obey.
thank you.
It is true – He is enough. What He pours into (and allows in) my life is certainly enough to obey and to glorify Him. Thanks SO much for the timely reminder.
Welcome!
This is one of my alltime favorite verses. And it is now more than ever. I especially like reading it in Spanish.
Y me ha dicho: Bástate mi gracia; porque mi poder se perfecciona en la debilidad. Por tanto de buena gana me gloriaré más bien en mis debilidades, para que repose sobre mí el poder de Cristo.
Of course I expected the chemo would take a toll, but still hate to hear it. Hang in there, brother. Praying for you and the family constantly.
Enough. Awesome.
Yes, He is enough. Thanks, Zac, for the timely reminder.
Hi Zac,
I haven’t met you but Stacey cared for my son Joseph at Precious Miracles. My husband and I have a college and career ministry at our church in VA and we let them listen to your “Letter to Zac” and the sermon you gave at your uncle’s church in AZ. It was very sobering for them and they listened intently. I have just given them the link to this blog as well. There are about 28-30 in our class. I just wanted to encourage you today that your words are making an impact in places you have never been. The kids at this age feel invincible and it is huge for them to hear your story and consider making their lives impact others for Christ NOW. We are praying for peace and comfort through your treatments, HEALING, and for your family. May God richly bless you for your willingness to reach others with your story. It IS sinking in and changing lives.
In Him,
Suzie Carroll
Thanks, Suzie, for sharing! It makes me so happy to hear.