Frustration As Refinement
Recently I had the opportunity to hang out with Shane Duffey and Brian Goodban. We talked about how God uses frustration to mold us. Shane, as usual, brought some brilliance to the conversation.
The question was this: does God allow us to be frustrated as a means of change? In other words, can God use our frustration with something to show us we need to move on to something new? Shane sees frustration as a refining fire. The longer we can stay in the fire, the more refined we become. The longer we stay in frustration, the better off we are. He recommends we do not leave our current situation until our frustration grows to such a point that we cannot hold it in. If we can wait until that point, we can be sure that God has something else for us.
A practical example: you are in a job and you are increasingly frustrated with your management. You can do one of two things — you can quit and try to find another job OR you can wait in that frustration until God provides something for you. Both options will work, but it is now my belief that the longer we wait in that frustration, the more wisdom we bring to the future.
It may just be true that when we get to the point where we are willing to wait as long as it takes for God to show us everything we need to gain from a situation that He will provide for us a new solution for what is next. When I look back on my life, I notice that I too often use any level of frustration to help myself to change. For the next season in my life, I am going to focus on holding still amid the frustration as long as I can. I like being refined.
nice post.
and some good points, although the idea of “holding still amid the frustration” for as long as possible is… uncomfortable. wise, but discomforting…
but in response to your workplace example,
i think it really depends on the source and type of frustration.
if it’s the smelly complainer in the next cubicle, patience and prayer would be in order.
but if the boss has the wrong vision, or no vision, or is micro-managing the life out of your work (as opposed to just personality differences, for example), then i say get the heck out.
yes, in the end, some wisdom or good may come out of it, but there’s lots of ways that God can refine us… not every frustrating situation has to be *that* meaningful venue IMHO.
Yes, Paul, there is great tension in determining the worth of frustration at work — or in other cases. I’m going to try searching for meaning broader contexts for a time. Thanks for the comments.
Are you kidding me? I DO NOT like being refined! It hurts! The results are always pretty though! =)
So, I read between the lines…Brian struggling at work? =)
Thanks for this post today Zac, I sure needed it. I am frustrated. There are people in ministry who don’t take serving God the same way I do. It really REALLY frustrates me. I am not sure how to deal with these emotions. I have to set boundaries for what is permissable in our ministry and play the “bad guy” and yet, I want to think of these people as friends/family. It hurts. They think that smoking a little pot is not a big deal and that I am “too strict” or that “you just don’t understand.” Being chronically late shouldn’t equate not being on the team for a while. There is justification and resentment toward me…..I understand the leadership role I play and that God wants me to love them through this. I believe loving them is doing what I am doing. Satan tells me otherwise sometimes.
Any input?
Love,
Cristy
Good stuff, CO. I sense your frustration. I’m trying to imagine frustration as a motivator for thought. When I am frustrated, I want to engage God and talk things out with Him. You know how when you talk things out you sometimes find the answer? I want to imagine what future benefit might there be if I can stick with this frustrating situation. How does dealing with someone who is late or someone who likes illegal drugs going to help me deal with my spouse or my kids or my friends or my future reports?
I think that no matter what job you’re in… there should be some level of frustration. If you’re not frustrated at all, totally complacent… that’s where we become ineffective as employees. Too much frustration will eventually cause one to leave a job, yes. But the right amount keeps us hungry for improvement.
But that’s just my opinion… I could be wrong.
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