There are many things in the world to be fearful of. As a husband, a father, and a leader, I try to be fearless whenever possible. I love to fly, I enjoy public speaking, and I enjoy being in places others think are dangerous. There are a few things that scare me, though. I am afraid of heights. I have tried many times to conquer it (even sky diving) and endured the scorn of those around me, but the fear remains. I really do not like small rodents, like mice or rats or voles. Mandy thinks this is a fear, and she is probably right. Then there are the fears of the intangible. There is a fear for the safety of my children. There is one fear, though, that I have that has the potential to be the most damaging.

I am afraid of my past. Something that has always gnawed at me is the guilt and shame from the mistakes I have made. I am a sinner, just like you. And some of these sins, though forgiven by God, still haunt me. I am afraid that someone or something from my past will reappear.

Here is a simple example: when I was in high school in Ecuador, I drove around a lot through the city of Quito. One day I was at a street light and entered into a race with a punk in the lane next to me (sorry, Mom!). I soundly beat him in my five-cylinder VW Santana, but he followed me to my friend’s house. For the next several weeks, this guy would randomly show up at my friend’s house and wait for us. We would race again and [not-nice] words would be exchanged. Needless to say, we all put a bunch of lives in danger. My friend’s parents worked at the US Embassy and they were upset at this stalker outside their home. So they called a few US Marines to follow the guy home and have a chat with him. I never saw this guy again. But what if I had? What if he showed up in church one Sunday? What if my father was preaching the Gospel and he looked over and saw me?

The simple example above is just one of hundreds that I have thought about in my life. There are so many sins that we commit that we later can beat ourselves up over. These may prevent us from seeking public office, working at a church, or maybe even talking to others about Jesus. But we must revel in the forgiveness that God has given us. That is the important part. We stand forgiven by God, through Jesus for our sins — if we accept that. But what about our fellow humans?

1 Peter 3:13 — Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good?

This verse has helped me greatly. Who can harm me if I am zealous for what is good? Yes, I have a past. So do you. But if I am zealous for what is good now — and I do not live like I did in the past — then who can harm me? It may not be possible to have a sinless future, but our challenge is to approximate that as close as possible. If we focus on obeying God going forward, I am convinced that we can let go of this fear of our past. So — be zealous for what is good!

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This entry was posted by zac on Thursday, September 4th, 2008 at 8:25 am and is filed under Weekly Jib Jab. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.