I read a story this week that made me cry. It is a story about a father who had two sons and a daughter, which I can relate to. What happens to this father, though, is beyond belief. It is the kind of story where things continually get worse. It is a true story, which makes it even harder to read.

The story begins when the children are older. The daughter has grown into a beautiful, young woman. She is very close to one of her brothers. The oldest brother, though, finds himself tormented by her beauty and is attracted to her. He loves her deeply and fantasizes about her. His torment leads him to craft a devious plan. He pretends to be sick and then has his sister take care of him. When they are alone, he rapes his sister. She begs him not to, but he does anyway. Immediately, he realizes that he hates her. He sends her away in shame.

She goes to her other brother’s house and lives with him. She tells him what happened and that brother forms his own hatred for the oldest brother. The father hears about it and is very angry, but does not know what to do. For two years the brothers live in hatred of each other. Then the younger brother finds a way to murder his oldest brother. Once again, the news reaches the father and he weeps bitterly.

The remaining son runs away in fear and stays away for three years. The father yearns for his son. After three years, the son returns home and the king is pleased. Things remain good for four years. The father is a wealthy and powerful man and the son becomes jealous. He devises a plan to overthrow the father and take all his wealth and power. The father is surprised by this and runs away. The son chases his father. I try to imagine the pain and suffering the father felt. One of his own sons raped his daughter. Then his other son murdered that son. Now the remaining son is trying to ruin and murder him. While his father is away, the son takes over his father’s house and does many atrocities.

After a time of this chasing, the son is riding through a dense forest in the countryside. His ride goes under a large tree and the son’s long hair gets caught in the tree and he hangs there, helpless. Some of his father’s men find him there and kill him.  The news gets back to the father and here is the father’s response (this made me cry):

“O my son! Would I have died instead of you, my son, my son!”

When I think about this story, and my own children, I realize my kids are really good kids. I love them dearly and I always will. Would I love them if they were murderers or rapists? I believe that I will always love them. This father loved his children amid all their wrongdoings. I cannot imagine the pain this father must have felt, though.

In our society, it is common to blame the parents for the faults of the children. When a child does wrong, we are quick to analyze their upbringing. I remember in my college days, when I did many moronic things, that my parents felt responsible. They felt they had the responsibility for my actions. I have been blessed with wonderful parents. I know I have caused them heartache, but I also know that I hold the responsibility for my actions – just like the children in this story are responsible for their actions. My father is a godly man and in most ways paternal I try to mimic him.

I will never forget when my father came to visit me in college. His visit was prompted by some severe disciplinary action taken against me. I could see the pain in his eyes. I could sense his frustration with me. I could hear the deep questioning in his voice. We drove up to the high desert of Arizona and sat on some rocks near a creek in a canyon. I do not remember everything we talked about, but I do remember the message he conveyed to me: “I love you.”

I do not want to be overly dramatic, but I could have died from some of the nonsense I participated in. Had I died, I could see my father saying, “O my son! Would I have died instead of you, my son, my son!”

The father in the story above is King David. The daughter is Tamar. The oldest son is Amnon and the other son is Absalom. You can read about them in 2 Samuel 13-18. The complete verse that gripped my heart is 2 Samuel 18:33 – And the king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And as he went, he said, “O my son, Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

I am thankful for my father. I am motivated to express this kind of unconditional love to my children. To my wife. To my friends. To all of you. That is our task, as Jesus said in John 15:12 – “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

I love you all.

-z

Tags: david, discipline, john, love, samuel

This entry was posted by zac on Thursday, June 22nd, 2006 at 8:46 am and is filed under Weekly Jib Jab. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.