Hi,

In Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Alice meets a large blue Caterpillar smoking a hookah. The beginning of chapter five of the book reads like this:

The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence; at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice. “Who are you?” said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I—I hardly know, Sir, just at present—at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”

I see a parallel to our lives. We know what we once were, but we have been changed several times since then. What are we now? Who are we now?

The first time we meet people, we seek to define ourselves – we seek to answer the question, “Who are you?” We usually tell them what we do – I am a student, I am a waitress, I am an exterminator, I am a teacher, I am a plumber. I tell people I am a senior midrange architect, and then I answer their confused look with, “I am a computer geek.”

There are a lot of other things that I am, though. Most of them are more important than how I make my living. I am a father, I am a husband, I am a brother, a son, a pastor, a friend, a mentor. I am a student and a teacher. I am a Christian and a sinner.

I read something else this week which got me thinking about who I am. I read a chapter of Proverbs every day (well… most days – and I recommend you do the same). The last part of Proverbs 31 is about the virtuous woman (the noble woman who fears the Lord). Each verse from verse 10 to verse 31 describes the woman or her actions – every verse except verse 23. Notice what it says: Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.

Why is this verse in this passage? What does a husband being known at the city gates have to do with his wife? Why does this passage about wives include a verse solely about husbands?

Being known at the city gates and sitting with the elders of the land has political and financial implications. The husband’s success has much to do with his wife. I see three general areas where this woman contributes to her husband’s success.

First, she manages her home. (15) She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. (21) She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. (27-28) She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

For me (and I believe this to be true for all men), it is essential that my household be in order for me to be successful. Domestic comfort promotes public advancement.

Second, she is financially responsible. (11) The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. (16) She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. (18) She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. (20) She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. (24) She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.

For stability in the home, both husband and wife must be excellent stewards of their money and they must trust each other. A woman makes a considerable contribution to her husband’s position in the community and to his success.

Third, she is encouraging and does not gossip. (12) She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. (12:4) An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

A woman establishes and preserves the virtue of a man. Her example and her conversation are encouragement to him. A man’s good reputation begins with his home.

As I ponder these things, I am most grateful to God for Mandy. (19:14) House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. I realize that any successes, any merits, any gains I have outside the home are *only* possible because I have Mandy within the home. Before I am a teacher to others, I am a teacher to my children. Before I can love others, I love Mandy. I am successful at work after I am successful at home. I am successful in ministry when I practice that within the home. My home is a training ground for life and any respect I have starts inside the home.

I know all of you are at different places in life. Let me speak to each of you in turn.

Wives, be encouraged by the great responsibility before you. With great responsibility comes great privilege. Whether you stay at home or work outside the home – make your focus the management of your home, the excellent stewardship of what you have, and the encouragement of your husband.

Husbands, be encouraged of the awesome gift of God that you have been given. Never take for granted how crucial your wife is to your success. Praise her: (29) “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” The next time someone asks you, “Who are you?” why not answer them, “I am a husband and all that I am I owe to my wife.” Remember: home management, financial stewardship and encouragement/respect start with you. Your success outside the home is dependant on her doing these things, but her doing these things is dependant on you doing them first.

Single women, begin practicing these three things: manage your home, manage your finances, and make a practice of encouraging others. This is like knowing the answers to the test before going in to the classroom. Master these things before marriage.

Single men, do not be tempted to pride. You are not all that. Women do not want you just because you are you. Understand now that she will complete you and enable you to further success. Be humble and encouraging. Your career is not the most important thing you will do in life. Learn to do these three things as well. Master them before marriage.

Those who never plan to marry – I realize not everyone will marry, but there is much to learn here. Do not discount the possibility of marriage. Do not ignore your responsibilities. These three areas are crucial to every life.

All of us must still answer the question, “Who are you?” How will you answer that question?

I love you all (albeit less than I love Mandy).

-z

Tags: Leadership, proverbs

This entry was posted by zac on Thursday, June 1st, 2006 at 8:52 am and is filed under Weekly Jib Jab. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.